The most extreme, risky insane moment of my life occurred Today. With gasoline at $4 a gallon and nary a salary in the house, I live on the edge by pushing the limits of functional capability of a minivan. According to my on-board logistical probability screen thingy, I have been driving with zero miles left on my less-than-a-gallon “filled” gas tank for at least 24 hours now. Brazenly throwing caution to the wind, I once again set out to prove the legendary risk taking of which I am indeed capable. I drove to work…. fully aware that on-board technology had informed me I could drive Zero More Miles on the gasoline in my tank, and work is, uhhhhh, 8 to 10 miles or so away. This type of risk taking behavior can quickly improve your spiritual life (“Help me get there, Lord!”) Seriously, this is white-knuckling, heart pounding, extreme risk taking of epic proportions. Did I make it?
Can’t think of anything very exciting, like the ability to tie cherry stems with my tongue. Now That Would Be Real Talent. Let’s see, Deaf karaoke singer? Nah… I’m extremely good at embarrassing teenagers, but I consider that a ninja skill, not a talent. I’m pretty good at making random weird things at 10pm the night before it’s due…. ahem, that would be the teenager thing again. I am very creative…. in spurts. That would be Unplanned, Unscheduled Spurts. I have no idea when it will hit, but it just does and I come up with some really creative idea or solution. I wish I could harness that talent, and use it to do my bidding. But, alas, it will not respond to my commands. If I was a teenager, I would roll my eyes about now…. More than anything, I am definitely Not Funny. I can’t even buy a Courtesy Laugh most of the time, and yet I amuse myself…. ahem, that would be the teenager thing too….